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An excuse/reason for my absence

There is something way down deep inside of me that has, for the last few weeks, prevented me from picking up a pen (or laptop) and writing. I don’t know if I can call it a block because that seems to imply that there is something other than me standing in the way of all the creativity that has been near boiling point in my brain. I could blame it on the devil but that would be too easy and give him too much credit. I could blame this enormous season of transition I’m in with a new job, new contracts, new home, and my pending nuptials. Yet, even as stressful as all of these things can be, they would only be scapegoats of my own making. The fact is…

I am deeply in my own way.

I’ve found great ways to rationalize my missed deadlines and yet even I know that such madness is unsatisfactory; a slap in the face of the One who has so mercifully gifted me. The truth is, I’ve allowed the critic in my own head to go beyond simply challenging me to be better and be more accountable to the stories I’m called to write. I’ve allowed that critic to buy space she was only supposed to lease in my head.
Pray for my deliverance.

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2 thoughts on “An excuse/reason for my absence

  1. Hey there, Tracey. I know the feeling but don’t let it last long. I went for two months without being able to write after I read a bad review of my book. Find the original source of the critic’s rising power and rebuke it.Don’t allow the critic to get to you. There will always be people who love your work and people who hate it. The inner critic wants everyone to like one’s work. But that is never going to happen. The inner critic wants to please everyone. It tells us we are trying to please ourselves but deep down it’s this weird people-pleasing thing. The inner critic tells us we will never grow. But that is a lie against the truth. We grow because God is teaching us and is always sending folks to teach us.In Jesus name, I command healing and deliverance on tracey. I declare that she is fearfully and wonderfully made and that she does not grow weary with welldoing. Her labor is not in vain in the Lord. In due time she will reap if she faint not. In Jesus name! Amen. -C

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